In my work as a success coach I can predict whether someone will fail or succeed with an endeavor 80% of the time. Some might think I am very judgmental to say so, but its more a matter of being experienced and having worked with thousands of people than with prejudice. 20% might surprise me by having things turn out differently for worse or better. My only frustration as a success coach is when I can see failure looming and communicate that, but it is not accepted by the person I am coaching. Oftentimes people would rather ?be right? than to succeed. Admitting to mistakes or ineffective approaches would seem more painful to them than growing. The reason success and failure are fairly predictable is because they always build on the same principles ? attitude, focus, commitment, passion, energy and unwavering decision. A true intention creates a vector that is pointing in a certain direction. If you are open to it, you can see in which direction the vector is pointing. If you make a decision in the here and now, you create a vector that points to the future. By looking at where the vector it is easy to say whether a person will fail or succeed. Half of all people I work with are already aligned with success before they even start working with me. Those are my easy students. As someone wise once said, ?every battle is won before it is even fought?.
As described in this article?new success sometimes means shedding the old. Old decisions, old behaviors, old negativity, old things. The letting go of the old requires some sort of sacrifice. Could you sacrifice that which no longer serves you? The fear that comes up when I ask people to adopt radically new attitudes and behaviors is quite stunning sometimes. They then see that its perhaps easier to stay stuck in the old rut than venture out and try something entirely different, to re-invent oneself, to venture where they haven?t been before. But its precisely why most people do not actually succeed in the true sense of the word. Most people do not want to make those decisions, do not want to disturb their comfortable life, do not want to create some turbulence. If you break down old walls to create new walls there might be some turbulence. When you work with the reality creation tools given to you in our courses, don?t expect everything to go smoothly. If you are truly committed to a new reality, then your plane is going to lift off the ground and that can also create turbulence. The feeling of flying may be unfamiliar and some will want to go right back down to comfortable grounds. But truly, there is nothing to be afraid of if your trust in life is intact.?
A good example of how hard it can be to let go of negativity is perhaps seen in letting go of negative people who have become very familiar with. I recently coached a woman who had an abusive spouse who beat her. But she wouldn?t leave him. Why? Because of familiarity and comfort. They had spent 10 years together and had also had wonderful times. Those wonderful times coupled with cozy closeness made the prospect of leaving him terrifying. I looked at the vector and predicted: ?If you continue to accept being beaten and abused by him, you are going to continue to fail in all areas of life, like you have. Neither your health nor your finances will improve. Why? Because you indicate that you are of low value by letting someone treat you as if you are of low value?. After receiving that email, the good lady immediately cancelled the coaching and said she wont be requiring my help, that she loves her husband and won?t be leaving him. In fact, she wouldnt even entertain the idea. Nor would she apply any of the other suggestions I made, such as hitting back, confronting him on it or getting outside assistance from family or even police. And yet she entered the coaching with me lamenting of health and money problems. Like so many others she will probably venture to the next book, next workshop, next coach, looking for someone who will tell her nice-sounding words with which she can remain in her comfort-zone.?
Here is something to really learn for life: The ?comfortable life? is not really all that comfortable in the long-run. Short-term it might be more comfortable for that wife to stay with the abusive tyrant at home. But not in the long run. She would have to take brief pain for greater gain. Another example might be an alcoholic: Short term it might feel more comfortable to have a glass of alcohol but it is not long-term. So you would have to take the brief pain of withdrawal for a greater gain. Quitting a job that leaves you sad and exhausted might cause brief pain, but there will be a greater gain overall. The successful person is willing to take that leap of faith and go into a brief spell of uncertainty and turbulence for that which is good and true.?
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